Tending:
Accompaniment at the Gates of Grief
A nine month experience to expand your understanding
and practice of grief tending.
Grief is an ongoing journey integral to life itself.
It’s not something to be fixed or healed,
but something that needs and deserves tending.
If you have felt something missing
from your own experience and the cultural context of grief, we see you. We are you. Grief winds itself through our lives, our relationships and our presence in our lives. It can be overwhelming alone.
Our society has not made space
for the true natures of grief. Grievers often feel their experience relegated to private spaces, though grief moves through everyone we know. There are so many paradoxes.
Grief is a solitary journey that we cannot do alone,
says Francis Weller the author of the Wild Edge of Sorrow. When grief is shared, when we have a deepened experience of entanglement with one another and the animate world, something wildly beautiful and necessary begins to alchemize.
We are so glad
that you're here.
Does This Sound Like You?
- You have a heart, mind and soul that are holding grief, sorrows and losses.
- You are impacted by these heavy times.
- You seek something radically different than mainstream grief discourse.
- You wish to explore your coping in a strength focused and grief-informed way.
- You wish to engage in the alchemy of change that comes from making sorrow visible and held in community.
- You are a therapist and healthcare worker and have been witnessing and holding so much of our own loss during these times. (you do not have to be a therapist or healthcare worker to join this group!)
So many of us are holding space for other people’ sorrows, and need a soul-centered space to unfold into our own care. The sorrows of the world are not letting up anytime soon.
Testimonials
"When we get something essential that has been missing in our dominant culture, it feels like homecoming. The Tending group was a rare place of being and feeling, witnessing and recognizing the common journey we are traveling together. It is surprisingly powerful relief to not have to fix anything or do something or "use self-care" because we are caring together."
-DB
"If you want to tend to your grief, on a journey facilitated by master teachers who are compassionate, open, caring and wise - you must sign up for TENDING with Hillary and Carmen. The community they cultivate facilitate your deep dive into the depths of your grief and allow you to emerge to a healing space where you feel less overwhelmed and less alone."
-anonymous
How will we work together?
A Nine-Month Journey (with Two Phases)
TENDING unfolds over nine months (April–December), giving us time to slow down, deepen into our grief work, and build community. We’ll meet primarily on Sunday mornings from 9:00–11:00 a.m. (Pacific). All sessions—except for our Grief Vigils—will be recorded so you can catch up anytime.
What is included...
-
12 Live Group Sessions
We’ll gather to explore grief through guided discussions, writing prompts, poetry, and body-based practices. -
3 Grief Vigils
These sacred gatherings are an opportunity to honor sorrow in real time, held in supportive community. (Not recorded for privacy.) -
Grief Encounters - 5 Live Conversations with Special Guests
Learn from Max Regan, Desiree Adaway, Katriona Wilder Ilsedóttir, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer and Michelle Cassandra Johnson who bring unique perspectives on grief, creativity, and embodiment. -
Closing Ritual
We’ll conclude our time together with a special ceremony featuring a musical guest Carl Rabke, celebrating the journey we’ve shared. -
Guided Practices
You’ll receive tools and exercises—meditations, writing invitations, ritual suggestions—to help you integrate your grief between sessions. -
Online Community
Stay connected, share insights, and receive support in a private online space throughout the program. -
Care Package
The first 20 people to register will receive a curated care package delivered via snail mail.
Our Approach
We’ll weave teachings on grief work with body-based modalities, poetry, writing, and music so you can continually engage with sorrow in a supported, creative way. You will be accompanied, uplifted, and offered buoyancy as we deepen into what it means to be fully alive—even when we’re carrying grief. This exploration is personal, yet it also influences how you respond to loss in your relationships and in the world.
Dates & Schedule
We’ll meet primarily on Sunday mornings from 9:00–11:00 a.m. (Pacific). All sessions—except for our Grief Vigils—will be recorded so you can catch up anytime.
Phase 1: April–June
- April 13, 27
- May 4, 18
- June 1, 8, 22, 29
Summer Session
- July 13, 20
- August 17
Phase 2: September–December
- September 7, 21
- October 5, 19, 26
- November 9, 30
- December 7, 14
Note: Some meetings are designated for guest conversations, some for grief vigils, and others for guided teachings and group work.
Have We Met?
This work is facilitated by Carmen Cool and Hilary Kinavey.
We have taught and written together for over a decade. We have accompanied each other through deep sorrows and loss with reverence, love, compassionate curiosity, and humor (ask us about our haikus). In this offering, we will be using the six gates of grief as our guide, as taught by Francis Weller. Both us have been trained by him as grief ritual facilitators.
Carmen Cool (she/her) is a queer, politicized and poeticized psychotherapist, psychedelic integration therapist, and certified mindfulness instructor. For over 20 years, I have been working at the intersection of eating disorders and weight stigma, activism in psychotherapy, and supporting youth leaders. Lately, my soul urgings have been taking me in the direction of earth-based practices, creative expression, and bringing love and magic back into the field of psychotherapy. I am constantly on the lookout for sensory joy. I love to cook, to read poetry, to sing under the bones, and I go out of my way to pet all the dogs.
Hilary Kinavey (she/her)Hilary Kinavey, LPC, is a therapist, educator, and facilitator whose work sits at the intersections of body liberation, grief, and sustainable practice. She is the co-founder of the Center for Body Trust, a nationally recognized organization that challenges weight-centered paradigms in health and wellness. Through this work, she has spent over two decades helping people reclaim their relationship with their bodies and supporting providers in reshaping the way they practice. She is also the co-author of Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing & Liberation, a book that deepens the conversation around healing, embodiment, and systemic change. Hilary’s work is rooted in social justice, emotional integrity, and a belief that healing—whether in the body, in business, or in community—requires us to honor what has been lost in order to build something new.
Grief is inseparable from love.
Whether it is bereavement, big changes, nostalgia, regrets, anger, injustice, climate change, or missed moments – these sorrows accumulate and deserve to be felt, witnessed and expressed. The world needs our nuanced presence in the midst of so much darkness.
We invite you into this soul work.
-Hilary & Carmen
Testimonials
"Carmen and Hilary are more than just teachers; their vulnerability and raw honesty give you the sense that they are truly walking alongside you in this grief journey."
Anonymous
“I've walked through most of my life thinking my grief was too heavy and burdensome to share with others, so I hid it, I dismissed it, and suffered alone. After attending this group I realize the opposite is true - we all have and will have grief - and community is so important for nurturing and nourishing our collective grief.”
-SH
Frequently Asked Questions
Will you offer this program again?
Will the sessions be recorded?
Who are the teachers you have learned from?
Do I have to be grieving the loss of someone to be in this course??
Do you have equity pricing?
"Everything is beautiful
and I am so sad.
This is how the heart makes a duet of wonder and grief."
~ Mark Nepo, Adrift
Stay in touch about this grief work including future offerings...
Add your name to our interest list. We will keep you up to date.
